Unconditional love is learning to be the source of love, rather than waiting for others to be the source. Unconditional love means keeping your heart open all the time. To do so, you may need to let go of the expectations you have of other people, of wanting them to be anything other than what they are. It means letting go of any need for people to give you things, act in certain ways, or respond with love. Many of you wait for other people to be warm and loving before you are.
Look at the times you want to close your heart, the times at which you say, "I have had enough, this person is not being loving enough for me, I think I am going to close my heart to this person." In every relationship, no matter how long-term or solid, there will always be a challenge to keep your heart open. How else do you learn unconditional love but by coming up against all those areas in which your heart is closed? Each time you come to a place in which you want to close your heart, you now have the opportunity to establish a new pattern, and keep it open. You may choose to leave or change the nature of the relationship, but you can do so with love. You may think that the best friends are those who never challenge you, who never make you want to close your heart, and yet if you are with people who never challenge you to remain open and loving, you are not truly connecting with them in your heart. The heart always deals with issues of trusting, opening, and reaching new levels of acceptance and understanding of others.
You learn to love
by putting yourself in situations
that challenge you to be loving.
Tolerance is an attribute of unconditional love. Smiling inwardly when people do things that used to upset you, sending them a warm blessing or thought of love, frees you from being affected by their behavior. The quality of tolerance is the ability to stay calm and unruffled no matter what happens, to allow people to be themselves and make their own mistakes. It allows you to provide that warm, safe harbor for them where they can bask in the steadfast light of your acceptance.
When you are judgmental or critical, you are most affected by other people's energy. If you look at people and think, "They ought to work harder, get their act together," these thoughts pull their negative energy into you. What you see in them is what you begin to experience in them, for as you focus on something you draw it out.
The ability to accept other people for who they are is a great challenge, and as you master it, so do you give that gift to yourself. If someone is yelling at you or talking in a tone of voice that sparks anger, defensiveness, or sadness in you, begin sending him or her love telepathically. Bring yourself to a peaceful center. Know as you send love you are raising your vibration. Soon, either the other people will change or you will find that you are no longer creating situations where others are acting this way.
Forgiveness is a part of unconditional love. Forgive yourself throughout the day for all the moments when you are not high, loving, or wise. Forgive others as well. Remember that you are a loving being, that you deserve love, and that you are, in essence, love itself.
PLAYSHEET
Think about your day today. What things did you criticize yourself for?
Take at least three things you criticized yourself for doing, thinking, feeling, or saying, and forgive yourself for each one.
Focus now on what a wonderful, positive day you are having, and all the things you are doing well.
~ Orin & Daben, Sanaya Roman and Duane Packer
from Personal Power Through Awareness
www.orindaben.com
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